appropriate days to visit bereaved family hindu appropriate days to visit bereaved family hindu

A Hindu death ritual comprises of three parts: A funeral/wake at the family's place. It is helpful to remember that this is not a place where attendance gets marked, and definitely the last place to be soliciting ones business regardless of what it might be. May God guide your sons soul to attain the right path. After all, some of the wisest people can almost convey a book in a matter of a sentence. But may his soul travel swiftly to the next destination. 8. JavaScript is disabled. Common blunders while visiting the bereaved: 1. (n.d.). Thank the family for offering the honor to you. Women need to dress conservatively with knees and arms covered. Dress appropriately, lose the perfume (and sunglasses). Just letting her know that you are thinking about her can be helpful. Serve his or her favorite foods. 9. Sharma, A. Don't forget that you can also e-mail your coworker to express your thoughts before you write your condolence note. And if you plan on visiting themyoull spend more time in silence rather than offering condolences. Hindu funeral rituals decree that cremation is the custom, but the deceased body remains in the home of the family until you move it to the cremation place. This period usually lasts for 10 days. You could certainly send her a personal note expressing your condolences. Only one rule should guide you in writing sympathy messages: say what you truly feel. The coffin is generally open, and guests are expected to look upon the body and be seated in the room for the service, which is conducted by a priest or a senior member of the family. Before making your decision, take time to consider the family's request. As absurd as it might seem, in todays fast-paced world, there are instances of people placing wreaths on the wrong coffin, and even consoling strangers after mistaking them for immediate family. Atma is beyond space and time. Hare Krishna. This link will open in a new window. Though a useful principle to follow universally, it is most handy while visiting the bereaved. Mourners dress, eat, and behave austerely during the ten to thirty days after the death and before the shraddha ceremony. As such, this message will work for the friend who sincerely believed in the transitory nature of the body itself. Moments with the family will usually be driven by the number of people waiting to offer their condolences. Her startling determination to do exactly the opposite, was amazing.". When some one dies his/her jeevan will remain for ten days from the day of death at the place where aparakarmas are being performed. There are almost never any honorary pallbearers at the funeral of a Christian woman, but at a Jewish funeral both men and women may have honorary pallbearers. It's appropriate to visit the family at their home after their period of mourning, which typically lasts 10 days. A notice would either state the hour and location of the service, which would mean that it would be appropriate for you to attend if you wished, or it would indicate if the service is private. A Hindu death ritual comprises of three parts: So, the actual funeral takes place at the deceaseds home, although actual events can be considered a wake according to western standards because of its short span. Kalyana saavu is roughly translated as happy death, and you would use this phrasing to honor someones life and legacy. May he rest in peace. Loss is hard. Hindu death rituals involve chanting of certain mantras, which are written especially to be chanted at funerals. 24 hours after the death, the body is taken to the cremation site. Hindu funerals usually take place within 24 hours of death. If unsure, the best thing to do is stick to something straightforward. Those who are emotionally close to the bereaved person may quietly ask How are you and give them a chance to express their feelings. If the bereaved person would rather speak to someone they dont know or needs additional support, specialist bereavement support services (see below) are available. The mourning period is observed at the grieving family's home and will last from 10 to 30 days. The Good Thinking team has produced this short guide to help anyone in the Hindu community across London who has lost a loved one, and to help health and care professionals who are supporting terminally ill patients of the Hindu faith. It is important to identify a persons religious inclinations at the start of their care and to find out what they need when approaching the end of life. For some, it can be a sense of awkwardnessa fear of saying or doing something inappropriate, or an aversion to seeing grief-stricken people. We hope her journey is comforted by Lord Krishna (or Lord Rama). This ceremony is attended by male family members and a priest. is in chatting mode, Heading towards stronger foreign exchange reserves, Omar Sharif: Best bridge player in the world, KPP: The Unsung Voyager of Kerala Industry, Social media savvy cops setting example in Bengaluru, Tribunal rejects claim on early conciliation number, Priya Menon is all set to take Sankalp to the next level. With that, parents will often go to great lengths to ensure the success of their families. Visitors are expected to bring fruit. Cremation rituals may vary in different places. Guests may attend the cremation, but if they do not want to, they may depart after the service. Incidentally, it is perfectly acceptable not to cry, as each person processes grief differently. Although Hindus take solace in their belief in reincarnation and liberation, they still experience grief. Are you afraid of Sivasankar, court asks Customs; allows five-day custody, Chennai roads inundated as cyclone Nivar triggers intermittent rain, These Kashmiri families are eager to vote in Kerala local body polls, Wanted! Neha Kakkar, Rohanpreet's honeymoon at Atlantis Dubai costs Rs 90,000 a night? Specific rituals depend on the patients affiliation to a particular Hindu tradition. Recognizing and honoring this belief means that you grasp the idea of. In the Southern state of Tamil Nadu, messaging can go one of two ways when losing a parent. However, you may send or bring flowers ahead of time. As there is no room for error, it is better to go prepared than be caught by surprise not knowing how to respond in such situations. Surely, a card or note to the mother would be welcomed as well. The Hindu mourning period (sutak) typically lasts ten to thirteen days and includes various rituals, such as prayers and preparing certain foods, depending on the particular Hindu tradition of the family. And unlike a phone call or a personal visit, e-mail doesn't require an immediate response from the recipient. Good Thinking provides a range of resources to help Londoners improve their mental wellbeing. This depends on personal preferences. Plan a remembering celebration with family or friends. This website uses cookies to improve your experience. Would she like to have a reception for some or all of the attendees of the memorial service? Introduction to Hindu Funerals. Sometimes, guests also attend this ceremony. Surinder taught his children to live with intent and to be good ancestors. There are all kinds of people in the world with vastly contrasting belief systemseach convinced that theirs is the right version. Unfortunately, blaming the healthcare establishment is a convenient way to vent the inevitable anger and grief. Financial and logistics assistancewhere acceptable and appropriatecan be a big relief. Candles and flowers decorate the wake , as well as the funeral service and the burial ground. There are no set customs prohibiting working during the period of mourning, so returning to work is often an individual decision. The only exceptions to this obligation are when the expression of condolence is simply a printed form with no personal message, or when the writer asks that his or her note not be acknowledged (a thoughtful thing to do when writing a close friend, or when someone you know well will receive a great number of condolences). Hindus believe that humans are in a continuous cycle of death and rebirth calledsamsara. Those people are greatly missed as they create such a hole for those they leave behind. The last thing the family wants at such a difficult time is advice. Your sister was a beautiful person. Honorary pallbearers are chosen from among the deceased's closest friends and/or business associates. Passing such a negative remark is easy, just like watching cricket on TV and blaming a fielder for dropping a crucial catch the person criticising has no idea how hard it is to be out there performing. In fact, unless we are absolutely certain of the familys religious and spiritual convictions, it is better to avoid the topic altogether, and give them some space instead. Funeral Mass (Requiem) is performed in a Catholic church by a priest. In Hinduism, theres samsarathe continuous cycle of reincarnation. Friends and relatives may visit to offer condolences and participate in Hindu prayer and scriptural readings to provide solace to the bereaved. And then it is appropriate to briefly visit the bereaved family at home at the end of the day. 6. Traditionally, the Hindu mourning period ranges from 10 to 30 days. The closer your relationship to the bereaved or the person who died, the sooner you'll want to reach out. Here's a list of simple and concise condolence messages that can be sent to a person in grief. On behalf of this community, I would like to offer our heartfelt condolences and prayers to your entire family. This reincarnation belief provides the base for Hindu funeral rites. Take a look. When one is in the cycle of rebirth, you would ask God to give momentum to the soul because the Hindu journey is ultimately to reach God. Adherence to a strict mourning period is less common today. At a funeral, either the casket is carried by professionals provided by the funeral home, in which case the honorary pallbearers follow, two by two, or they flank the casket, as it is wheeled down the aisle. Such tasks can include arranging for the ambulance, delivering food, cleaning the house, doing the shopping, taking care of paperwork, keeping smaller children occupied and assisting with funeral arrangements. While there's no rule book, the visitation, whether held at a funeral home or the family's home, is a good opportunity to express your condolences. Saraff, Anjula & Srivastava, Harish. are not protected by an attorney-client privilege and are instead governed by our Privacy Policy. All rights reserved. Hare Krishna. I understand that not only did your friend mean a great deal to you, but also that Keyur was well-loved by his family and community. is the best and appropriate choice. A Hindu priest is an officiant, who presides over all Hindu funeral rites. Time spent at the funeral home may vary. Such decisions are often based upon the circumstances of the family and the level of their commitment to the traditions of Hinduism. On behalf of my family, I want to say how sorry we are for your loss. In this sect of Hinduism, theres no food or drink offered to the family for up to 10 days. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register. It is worth knowing that they are not always expecting a reply from uswe just need to listen. Hare Krishna. People should wear white and not black. The funeral ceremony is conducted at the place of the cremation. Beliefnet is a lifestyle website providing feature editorial content around the topics of inspiration, spirituality, health, wellness, love and family, news and entertainment. Keep your pet leashed, and clean up after it. Weapons do not cut this Spirit, fire does not burn it, water does not make it wet, and the wind does not make it dry. While visiting, people tend to get drawn into conversations unrelated to the bereavement, at times even catching up on gossip. Traditional stereotypes have shifted in other, more suburban areas of India. Just as It is all part of Gods plan might not go down well with an atheist, He will soon be reborn into a more beautiful life can be hugely offending to someone who doesnt believe in rebirth. The family should be consulted about any jewellery and religious symbols that need to be left in place. At the point of acute loss, the person will be numb and will not be able to listen to long lectures and suggestions by visitors. As author Arvind Sharma writes, Hinduism is not a thing; it is a process. He would more or less characterize Hinduism as a method or temperament. During this period, the immediate family follows all Hindu mourning rites. Why its so easy for Modi to appropriate icons hes opposed to Can you give an appropriate caption for this? The preta-karma serves to assist the soul of the deceased person moves to the new body in the reincarnation cycle. If you are a friend of a friend: Send an email or handwritten note at your convenience. Notes of condolence should be acknowledged with a handwritten note. (1995). His commitment to creating a better world was apparent in every project he started. Hinduism, like other great religions, has specific rituals for honoring the deceased and addressing a family's grief. He leads the family and mourners in various Hindu funeral rituals. The family should be consulted about any jewellery and religious symbols that need to be left in place. 13. You can quickly highlight a friends accomplishments without getting too wordy while acknowledging their belief systemsas a general way of living. Unexpected death, especially of the violent type can result in an emotionally supercharged situation, requiring us to tread very carefully to avoid offending anyone. Send hand-selected and thoughtful gifts appropriate for those of the Hindu faith to let them know you care. Some placement restrictions may apply. Thanks. Rather than quoting the Bhagavad Gita directly, you can also take its essence and interpret that into something meaningful. There is a gathering of family and friends who are grieving. With this in mind, here are a few ideas for what to write in a. Some people in India may denounce being Hindu, but their lifestyle may suggest that they still live like a traditional Hindu. Are you sure you want to Unsubscribe from Malayala Manorama News letter/ Alert. Thats why cremation is preferred. Is 'Leela' an appropriate tamil brahmin name for a baby girl ? When someone experiences the loss of a loved one, visiting the bereaved in person is a thoughtful way to convey the deepest sympathy and offer support. Some illnesses are so severe that the body would succumb despite doctors doing their best. Your mother had a happy death. In the United States, cremation needs to be performed only by a licensed crematory. According to my calculations based on astrology, he could not have chosen a better time to die is another example of saying the wrong thing in the wrong place at the wrong time. It is a common slip-up for people to assume that sharing their own religious beliefs would bring solace to the bereaved family. E-mail shouldn't replace a handwritten condolence note, but it's a nice way to let your coworker that you're there for her. Brief words like I am sorry for your loss or You are in our thoughts and prayers are both meaningful and comforting. During this time, some of the traditions will limit or restrict participation in festivals and events, as well as discourage making life-altering decisions like changing jobs or moving. Making a phone call or a visit can mean a lot during such times. We are not attorneys and are not providing you with legal Recognizing and honoring this belief means that you grasp the idea of Brahman or the universal soul. people will avoid going to the deceased house. We are very sorry for your loss. It's best to stick with their request at such a sensitive time. If they are in hospital, it is helpful to inform the chaplain about their spiritual needs (with the patients permission). It is unborn, eternal, permanent, and primeval. Good behaviours while visiting the bereaved. Often there will be some open visitation for an hour or so just prior to the funeral service. We believe reflecting on our mortality can help us lead more meaningful lives. Usually, Hindu families arrange the funeral ceremony within 24 hours after death. The grieving family may be visited by many wishing to express their sympathies and the time any individual can spend with them may be quite limited. For a parent, sons and daughters are equally precious. Unlike some religions, youll also find that Hindus mourn for 13 days, which can also determine what you should and should not write. What kind of gift is appropriate for an occasion? On the first anniversary of the death, a memorial event (shraaddha) is held to pay homage to the deceased. 3. In Hinduism, theres samsarathe continuous cycle of reincarnation. If its not possible to visit there, then make a phone call. We pray that Lord Krishna gives you great strength to travel through all of this suffering. 14. If there is no relationship with the family, introduce yourself and briefly explain your relationship with the deceased. Discussions about unhealthy habits leading to an early demise can be reserved for later. If you don't feel comfortable having your daughter view an open casket, skip the visiting hours and simply attend the service. https://www.learnreligions.com/healing-words-for-tragic-times-1770148. 1. In many locales, even those who don't know each other will rally to assist bereaved neighbors in some way. As Narayanan explains, "Rituals give us a way of cathartically dealing with our grief. During which time, the bereaved will recite prayers over the casket and place rice balls near the head of the body. The guests should expect to see the body, offer condolences to the bereaved family, and take a seat quietly. Eastern Orhtodox During the period before burial (three days after death), flowers may be sent to the funeral home. Be sensitive to the level of help your friend is asking for. However, the following brief and simple condolences will let the grieving family know you care: We are sober, we are really sad about his sudden departure, May the Creator accept our prayers on his behalf. The family also . Although their intent might be good, it doesnt always work that way. After bereavement, a person goes through denial, anger, bargaining, depressionand finally acceptancethese stages take time. Think through how you truly feel about it. In such situations too, it is helpful to remember that no hospital would knowingly do anything that could harm the patient. However, it is usually the eldest son who presides at the cremation. Although some people may attend the cremation ceremony, non-Hindus are not allowed to participate in the mukhagni ceremony. For example, chewing loudly with an open mouth and talking with ones mouth full of food are considered bad table manners not because the offender has a problem with it, but because the others would find it repulsive. In an attempt to get noticed by everyone, some folks have a tendency to be loud and overdo their visit. Make a list of all the ways your loved one enriched .