Bad news at 20 week scan | Mumsnet In some cases concerns in utero fix themselves sometimes needs treatment. All my plans were beginning to fall down. Baby loss stories In some very serious rare cases, where no treatment is possible, the baby will die soon after it is born or during pregnancy. That they could have spotted something, or not? And it was Christmas Eve and at the time I didn't think, the sonographer did spend a little bit of time scanning us and queried my dates several times and then explained that she couldn't quite see the baby's heart properly and would we come back in a couple of days? The first midwife seemed to understand what we were trying to say, and said she would ask the doctor to come and talk to us. There, I would give birth. If you choose not to have the scan you can still have all other parts of your routine antenatal care. Tissue paper will be tucked around your clothing to protect it from the ultrasound gel, which will then be put on your tummy. Some people want to find out if their baby has one of the 11 conditions and some do not. Some parents wondered if it was possible to have the same scan done at 16 weeks rather than 20 weeks. Bad news at 20 week scan, please help. | Mumsnet Trying to carry on as normal, working and putting on a brave face. It wasn't measuring at all the right measurements for the age - there was a heart defect, the limbs were sort of distorted, the arms were, you know - you could see that the arms were very sort of contracted, the hands were contracted. Thankfully I was met by an amazing sonographer, she was compassionate and understanding. Again, no notes can have been written down because the midwife asked the same question. Cardiac surgery can do some amazing things. Immediately I knew what decision we should take. You've had, you've had your Down's Syndrome check and that's okay. No one else felt him kick. So we went home really and I sort of had to think about it all night. Emma was 20 weeks' pregnant when a routine scan revealed that the baby she was expecting had Down's syndrome and heart problems. I was told this was common as my body and hormones still thought I was pregnant. We were told to go to the hospital immediately. And I couldn't escape the feeling that I was being selfish. And the local hospital wanted to send us off to the regional hospital to actually confirm that, and were not really prepared to say at that time that there was something very seriously wrong. The 18-20 week antenatal scan and further tests, Ending the pregnancy for family & personal reasons, Deciding whether to see, hold and name the baby, Photographs and other mementoes of the baby, Saying goodbye to the baby - services & funerals, Coping with bereavement - women's experiences, Coping with bereavement - men's experiences, Men's ideas about their role in ending a pregnancy. But that was too easy. Although the anomaly scan is often called a 20-week scan, you may have it any time between 18 and 22 weeks, although it's usually done between 18 and 20 weeks. As I waited for the doctor back on the EPU unit. Sometimes women were told that the sonographer had found a 'marker' or sign of a chromosomal condition and had to wait for an amniocentesis to confirm the findings. No sort of questions about, 'Do you want to know whether it's a boy or a girl?' unfortunately the 20 week anomaly scan can pick up serious issues, hearing heart beats at midwife appointment doesn't let us know what's going on inside the body in detail. We use some essential cookies to make this website work. Intellectually, I knew this was not the case. Rather sharply, my partner tried to explain. I had to stop myself from yanking out the needle. Others, including those who had been given leaflets to read about the scan beforehand as well as some who were health professionals, said that they had been nave about the 20-week scan. For example, you may be offered further tests that have a risk of miscarriage. It felt as if we'd gone underground, that we were part of the criminal fraternity. At this point it wasn't looking great. And she sort of got up and walked out of the room and called someone in. I couldn't work out what was taking so long and put it down to the doctor being young and inexperienced. How common is it for 2nd baby to come early..? Only this time, no cry came. To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account. We didn't name him. She describes having to make a momentous decision very quickly, and the ferment of relief, guilt and grief that followed, Original reporting and incisive analysis, direct from the Guardian every morning. As I say, I'm not a very nice person at the moment. Public Health England (PHE) created this information on behalf of the NHS. So it was just, we were coming up to the 20-week scan and I was just getting more relaxed, just actually starting to look at maybe baby catalogues or, you know, going down the baby aisle at the shops, which I'd always avoided. It seemed inconceivable that we would not be having a baby in May. To help us improve GOV.UK, wed like to know more about your visit today. I didn't want to go through anymore scans. We had amnio and then spent a week in absoute anguish waiting for the outcome which was no trisomies. He had to come to the decision by himself. Sometimes doctors will wait to give the baby more time to develop and carry out repeat scans - this had confused several parents we talked to who had gone for repeat scans not knowing that the baby might have a problem. It can be such a shock so do whatever you need to feel better. The anomaly scan, also called the 20 week scan or mid-pregnancy scan, is used to detect pregnancy irregularities significant in diagnosis of any of the following conditions: In most instances no serious issue will be found during the scan and many parents-to be will come away knowing that all is progressing nicely and, perhaps, having found out . An hour passed and I started to panic. We left for home feeling completely numb. The screen may be directly facing them or at an angle. There was an extra digit on one of the hands. I give obsessively to charity, especially those linked to sick children. Sometimes specialist scans such as 3D scans, or MRI scans, are used to examine the baby in greater detail. So once again we were right back down, really no, really not knowing what to expect. So had to come back in a week's time for a scan, which again is quite a common thing I found out. Very occasionally this second scan cannot be completed, for example because: In this case you will not be offered another screening scan but you will offered an all over physical examination for your baby after birth. Check benefits and financial support you can get, Find out about the Energy Bills Support Scheme, NHS fetal anomaly screening programme (FASP), Screening tests for you and your baby (STFYAYB), nationalarchives.gov.uk/doc/open-government-licence/version/3, more information and details of support groups. There was a very marked lack of amniotic fluid which made it difficult, not even for the scanners to see, that made the picture of the scan look very, very different. Not surprisingly, people aren't quite sure how to deal with me. He wanted to talk about it, but I didn't. Laura miscarried her twin babies in February. She didn't want to see the baby. And she said that, you know, as the, if the baby did develop further there would probably be other problems with internal organs that weren't really that visible at that stage. It was all going wrong and I wanted to get as far away from the hospital as possible. Has anyone been told the sex incorrectly at their 20 week scan? It's quite common, perhaps 1 in 10 they find these, and within a few weeks they disappear. And I felt like a murderer. There was cause for concern. But with time although we will never forget, I know we will be ok again. Mumsnet carries some affiliate marketing links, so if you buy something through our posts, we may get a small share of the sale (more details here). 12/12/2012 22:41. Enough for two weeks after he had been cremated. I endured 12 hours of medication and in the early hours February 7, 56 days after my first scan (at nearly 18 weeks), I miscarried our babies. Sam reassured me, but the guilt had hit me along with the feeling that our world was falling apart. On January 18, my baby was born, at 23 weeks - a little boy. I tried to show him the notes and the photos. We understand the real meaning of "shit happens". I used to think the feeling of your baby kicking inside you and the sight of a foot poking against your skin were the most fantastic things in the world. Went back a week later for the scan and, you were with me for this one, weren't you? As I lay down, and the sonographer started, I could see there was something wrong. By 7pm, I still hadn't delivered the baby. This might be uncomfortable. I give pregnant women dirty looks. Mumsnet carries some affiliate marketing links, so if you buy something through our posts, we may get a small share of the sale (more details here). [Husband] couldn't make it. It would be a personal tragedy for my partner and me, but that is all. We left the hospital a couple of hours later. Living in this world must be unbearable for them. I had to take a tablet there and then, under the supervision of a nurse, to end the pregnancy. The scan yet again confirmed things were not good, however the sac had grown. How was that scan different from the dating scan? I was sat on the sofa working, my son was at nursery and my partner was in the bath. So when that happened to us I really didn't worry, I thought, you know, it was literally the baby was in awkward position, they couldn't see the heart and that was why. Some people we talked to had not had a 18-20-week scan, either because their babies' abnormalities had been detected by earlier diagnostic tests (e.g. So instead, I was advised to go home and let nature take its course. And my husband, we never got to sit next to each other in the consulting room, my husband was across the room from me, and I was sat next to the consultant, and we were laughing and joking with him about, you know, the home delivery, and everything was going to be, 'Are you still on for the home delivery?' Do you have any thoughts about that? There is always a chance that a baby may be born with a health issue that scans could not have identified. We felt as if we were in limbo. And I know I can't hurry up the process of grieving. See more information about the 20-week ultrasound scan. We had to discuss what we wanted to do with the little body after delivery. And I said, I was still laughing, and I thought he was joking with me, and he said now I sort of could tell from his face that by that point he wasn't really joking anymore. I think they perhaps could have done, if they had looked a bit closely. Being generous and kind generally happens only when you're happy. But I still didn't want to be the one who stopped this baby's chance to live. We had so much power, we could decide that this little thing should die. After preparing myself to face having to take the medication. But worse was to come. No discussion, no quiet contemplation. But now that's changed. We must have had one before that as well, we must have had one before that, but it came back quite normal. The first result, which tells you if the baby has Down's syndrome, is ready in three days, but the other chromosomal problems cannot be eliminated for up to three weeks. We bought a two tests that evening (quite lucky as I messed the first one up!). Try to relax and take it easy. Health professionals use the 18-20 week scan to examine the baby's size and position, and also to check if his/her brain, heart, lungs and other internal organs are developing as expected. We'd just spent some time away on a, on a summer holiday and come back expecting to have this scan and be told, 'All fine. If this happens, you will be offered one further scan by 23 weeks of pregnancy. I had to be rescanned latter. So I no longer trusted my instincts. A company limited by guarantee registered in England and Wales company number 3266897. I wrote a few things down last night when we were trying to go over things, just to remind myself. Reading individual, real-life experiences can be a helpful resource, but it is never a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment from a qualified health care provider. Baby loss support Another sick joke. By the time I left the hospital, I was in shock. I went away and came back, and she couldn't get a good picture. And I knew there was no way out. This is not what I imagined pregnancy to feel like', Baby Loss Awareness Week - Voice Five - Bryony Seabrook. The weeks since that day have been very weird. Abortion has never raised any moral dilemmas for me and I am an atheist, so there are no religious issues. Find more information and details of support groups on NHS.UK. It is extremely rare for these pregnancies to reach term as they typically spontaneously miscarry early in pregnancy. Some people had underestimated how serious any abnormality found at this stage could be for the baby. The thing that I have a very strong memory of is this child's face in amazing detail. I can feel my child kick, it responds when he shouts at football - I mean literally, this baby used to dance around whenever he'd like scream at a goal - and there cannot be anything wrong with this child because it's part of us already. I think I don't everything just seems a real blur because it was, it was such a strange experience. He started to scan me with a cold expression, then told me - Tommy's And that was scanning up from the above the head, then you were coming up through the child's head, so you were seeing the chambers in the brain, sort of it was evident in all four chambers of the brain, then suddenly one chamber was empty. The same sense of expectation. You may need to have a full bladder when you come for the appointment. Registered office: Nicholas House, 3 Laurence Pountney Hill, London, EC4R 0BB. Others, including those who had been given leaflets to read about the scan beforehand as well as some who were health professionals, said that they had been nave about the 20-week scan. I did think it was a bit strange that she wasn't talking, and then she sort of said, 'Oh, I think there's a problem. They would then re-test me in two days time. So and you could see the exomphalus, this little pouch, which was obviously just the intestines where they are. But no. And I assumed my partner would feel the same. To view this licence, visit nationalarchives.gov.uk/doc/open-government-licence/version/3 or write to the Information Policy Team, The National Archives, Kew, London TW9 4DU, or email: psi@nationalarchives.gov.uk. The doctor explained the options I had to manage my miscarriage. Nice people shouldn't hear about what we'd done. And then I can't remember an awful lot more about that scan apart from that feeling of searching of how to react in an unknown situation - your brain's kind of trying to work out what to say, what to do, but I had no idea what to say or what to do and I think my first thought was, does that mean our first daughter's okay? You have rejected additional cookies. She asked me how far gone I thought we were, and if I could have been mistaken. Three midwives came and went. It was, 'Oh we'll come back to that'. It went from bad, to worse, to worse, to dire, then to better. So we had to go in and out a couple of times, and we were just waiting around for ages and ages. We need to have your opinion'. There was complete silence during the scan. It's been a heartbreaking nightmare. She didn't say at the time that it was a major problem or that it was something to watch out for. I hated my body and hated every feeling I was having. It was just sort of deadpan faces, very serious looks, someone else coming to check. Most scans show that babies seem to be developing as expected, and none of the 11 conditions are found. The nursery I had selected for our two-year-old son; my maternity leave; the bunk beds; the summer holiday suitable for a newborn baby. The scan looks for 11 different conditions in your baby and cannot find everything that might be wrong. 13/12/2020 20:45. And they took me to another room and they explained that the baby had what they thought was ventriculomegaly or something. We were bound to each other because of the blood that was on both our hands. It doesn't remove the guilt, but I don't know what else to do.